I came over here to blog a little about being open and real with those I love and how that leaves me vulnerable and a scared.
Then I realized I had just blogged about that a few weeks ago. 😛 I guess I am still facing that though. Now I sound all angsty-teenager-dealing-with-being-insecure. Oh dear.
But…I do have a few thoughts to write out.
When you love someone you are honest and real with them. Yes, that makes you vulnerable and feel scared…wondering if it is joy or a hurting heart that will come later. But it is worth it; that is what I keep reminding myself of.
HE loves even when I am turn my back to Him. HE loves when I am completely unlovable. HE loved me before anyone ever did. And HE showed His love for me by dying for me. So I will love Him and seek Him…and I will love those He has placed me in friendship with.
Sometimes things are better left unsaid. You see, once spoken it can never be unsaid. But, is that so bad? A fear exposed, love confessed, a dream shared, joy expressed. This is what makes, and I suppose can also break, relationships.
This is coming from the girl that “seems to always have friends” and trusts to a fault. While making friends is easy and something I love to do, deepening a friendship is something that scares the heck out of me. To put it bluntly. “He/She won’t understand this part of who I am” is a something I often face…even with friends I have known for quite a while and know me fairly well. But all of my past God has used to make me who I am today.
I keep telling myself that it is worth it to be vulnerable. I *know* it is. But being so is easier said than done.
Nothing else to share…yes, this is all. Just some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head the last little while.